Reflections on a Wedding--10 Years Later

"We really did it?!?"


"Yes!"

CL and I just quietly celebrated our 10th wedding anniversary (seems longer--in a good way). It's been a good partnership. After all this time, we still LIKE each other. What more can you ask for?

I remember my dear friend Caroline telling me she was glad that CL and I had found each other. She thought I was so interesting and "strong" in my own right, she wasn't sure I'd find a suitable mate--someone who would be so much HIS own person, too. We work together well--and I can still say that 12 years later. We're a good match :-)

Every time I hear about someone having to stand up in a formal wedding, I think about what we did different--and we're both still glad we did it our way. Weddings really don't have to cost $100K.

* I made my own wedding dress.
* My "bridesmaids" wore outfits of their own choosing -- NO horrendous pink dresses they couldn't afford and would never wear again
* We had it outside in a park near where we were living

* CL and I walked in together and presented ourselves as a couple to our circle of friends (no aisle, no pomp and circumstance, no white runner)
* My Dad didn't give me away -- If I had been 18 yo, that might have been appropriate, but I was 29 yo at the time. Maybe he felt bad about missing that opportunity, but it just didn't seem fitting for the occasion.
* I kept my maiden name (no regrets there either!)
* We each held out the rings for the other to take. Even on the wedding day, it was a choice to accept and wear the other's ring, not a ball and chain.
* Our guests sat in a circle of folding chairs (not pews) borrowed from a local funeral home


* Drum Circle afterwards, for those who stuck around
* My dog Keba was there for the whole thing
* Pot Luck luncheon
* We'd gone to farmer's market that morning to buy the flowers.

* The cake was a simple poppyseed sheet cake with lemon butter glaze, topped with flowers from my bouquet. The baker apologized for how plain and homely the cake looked. She didn't see it with the fresh flowers. This is eactly what we had in mind!


As my friend Molly sings her song about "Broccoli is His Teeth," I'm smiling with a poppyseed stuck in my teeth from a scone at Farmer's Market that morning. Perfect!

"Perfect love is hard to find
Life ain't no storybook
Elbows in the night
Petty little fights
Oh he smiled at her with the broccoli in his teeth. He said, 'I love you.'
She said, 'I do, too.'"

We put together a comfortable wedding within our means, just the way we wanted it. My parents had a celebration a few weeks later to coincide with our regularly scheduled family reunion. They had the party they wanted, catered with a pig roast, the Dixieland Jazz Band, hay-rides, and all their friends in Northern Wisconsin. In the fall, CL's parents had the party THEY wanted in PA, complete with a catered sit-down dinner and a $300 cake (Eeesh!). All we had to do was show up. That all worked out pretty well. Everyone got the party they wanted.