About the little things that matter most : beauty, memory, love, friendships, wonder, awe, taste, travels ... All the things I don't want to forget!
"These moments given are a gift from time. Just let us try to give the moment back to those we love, to those who will survive." --Kate Bush, "Moments of Pleasure"
Rumbelle Fan Vid by rnlaing.
Music : "My Body is a Cage," Peter Gabriel's cover of the song by Arcade Fire
Footage : from ABC's Once Upon a Time, Skin Deep Episode
Be warned, certain passages of this video are very difficult to watch due to graphic violence. I've tried to keep this blog upbeat and positive. I realize this post could be considered dark, and out of step with the rest of this blog. However, Hidden Passages is also about the things I want to remember, and Rumple's Transformation is going to be something miraculous! He's not there yet, but I believe he will get his happy ending--even if I have to write it myself!
It's no secret that Once Upon a Time (on ABC)'s Rumplestiltskin / Mr. Gold is a very complicated character. His complexity makes him an interesting and compelling anti-hero. I just can't look away. He is The Dark One, so he's supposed to be Evil personified, but there's Light in him, too. He is capable of Love, we've seen glimmers of it ... And that's what keeps me coming back : The Hope that he'll turn his life around and finally be happy.
In the Skin Deep episode that aired in February 2012, we saw a soft and vulnerable side to Rumplestiltskin / Mr. Gold, as they retold the story of Beauty and the Beast, with Rumple/Gold cast as Beast (masterfully played by Robert Carlyle). We also saw a frightening scene where Mr. Gold is beating the bejeezus out of another character who he thought had tortured his true love. This is the first time we see the here-to-fore mild-mannered and quiet Mr. Gold reacting so violently. It's taken me several weeks to come to terms with this scene, as Rumple / Mr. Gold is my favorite character on the show. The torture scene turned my stomach when I first saw it : It was supposed to make viewers uncomfortable. Rumple / Mr Gold has endured many harrowing and horrible things, some of his own making. For all that, I want him to be happy. I want him to make decisions that bring him happiness. Beating someone up like this seemed like a giant step backwards.
In his rage, Mr. Gold yells, "She's gone! She's gone forever, and she's not coming back! You had her love, and you shut her out!" On one level, he is graphically directing this anger at Belle's father as he beats him. On another level, Rumple/Gold has
been doing this to himself ever since he let Belle go so long ago. That's why it's so heart-breaking. Rumple had Belle's love; but he shut her out, and he's been beating himself up ever since.
He may also have been thinking about his own son, Bae, being a father, and not doing right by your own kid. Another life-changing betrayal in his life. He has a lot of "stuff" to work through.
This particular fan vid at the top of the post, by rnlaing, masterfully captures Rumple's darker feelings about his situation. This dark side has been haunting me for months--even though I love the Hope side of the Rumbelle story, too. A few months ago, I posted some happy little Rumbelle Beauty and the Beast romance vids. But it wouldn't do the story justice without this darker side, too. For any of us on the brink of a relationship (and even in the midst of relationships), we all have to face some of this dark stuff that holds us back and threatens to keep us from our own happy endings.
"My Body is a Cage" as a song and fan video is an accurate reflection of Rumple/Mr. Gold's feelings, frustrations and predicament. The song also gives hope [See the full lyrics here.] :
My Body is a cage that keeps me from my Love My mind holds the key ...
As The Dark One, aka Beast, Rumple/Mr. Gold feels that "No one can ever -- ever love me."
That sentiment may be built into The Dark One Curse, and what he needs to do to keep and maintain his Power. But I would argue that he felt unlovable when he was plain old pre-Dark-Curse Rumple, too--isolated, powerless, dirt-poor, lonely, scared. He struggled with fear and anxiety in those days, being dubbed the village coward.
Belle says, "Love is layered." (Boy did she pick the right guy if she was looking for layers!) There certainly are a lot of layers to this story, this character. Every action, every reaction can take on multiple meanings. Belle says to him, "You think you're ugly. That's why you keep all the mirrors covered." On one level, she was right--His appearance did indeed change after he became The Dark One (green skin, black fingernails, gold sweat, really bad teeth). On another much more practical level, he kept the mirrors covered because he was trying to prevent Evil Queen from spying on him though the Magic Mirrors. Then again, maybe he was still mourning the loss of his son so many years ago ...
"And since then ... you've loved no one ... and no one has loved you?" Belle says to Rumple. Again, heart-breaking to hear this because it's been centuries. Rumple may have also felt like he was no good for anyone, or that his occupation as Dark One was too dangerous for anyone to ever get close to him. He couldn't have anyone stealing his secrets. Or maybe Love was just too painful for him in the past, something for other people, not him. So for many reasons, he built walls around him and kept people and Love at a distance.
Now we know [See The Return episode, Season 1] that long ago, after betraying his own son, he vowed to love nothing [no one] else, that he would devote himself to finding his long-lost son. So when Belle showed up, he really wasn't expecting to find Love. True Love's Kiss from Belle was enough to break the Dark Curse if he had let it happen, if it had been his choice. Now we know that he still needed those Dark Powers to find his son. That was his first priority. Still, we can see the joy on his face to see that she actually came back after he let her go ... Hope! Sigh!
I picture him listening to a lot of 9-Inch Nails. Eeesh! I've been there, too. Grateful for the experience in that dark passage, but also happy to have learned the lessons and moved past those dark years.
I found this video of Stephan Lambiel skating to Art Decade's version of "My Body is a Cage." It's a mesmerizing performance! I wonder if Lambiel was thinking of Rumple/The Beast as he skated? Or does he have his own cage(s) to escape, as a competitive figure skater?
Most of us do make our own cages, but the Hope is that we hold the keys
to set ourselves and our spirits free. That's why the song is so
powerful. Enjoy!
I'm not sure where this picture/idea originally came from. Someone posted it to Facebook recently. If this is yours, I'd be happy to give you full credit for this brilliant and inspiring idea. Just tell me who you are ...
I love this idea dating back to the old print bulletin board posts where you tear off a slip and call about it later.
All the characters on ABC's Once Upon a Time are fairy tale characters who have been cursed to spend eternity in Storybrooke, Maine. They are still their fairy tale selves, but they've lost their memories of who they really are, and have been torn from the ones they love ... One of the fun challenges of the show is putting clues together to figure out who everyone is/was, and what story they belong to.
A few weeks ago, a mysterious stranger showed up in Storybrooke, riding a motorcycle, and carrying a mysterious wooden box. We later learned that he carried an old typewriter, and he was later dubbed, The Writer. Does he have something to do with putting these fractured faery tales back on track?
There are a lot of theories floating around out there as to who he is, and why he can leave StoryBrooke, when no one else can (besides Emma). Some crazy theories out there like :
1) He's the son Rumple lost (Look, I'd love to see Baelfire come back, but this is not the guy. Bael had beautiful brown eyes ... )
2) He's Henry as an adult (Then why does he seem to have a love interest on Henry's mom? Ewe!
3) He's Henry's father - then why doesn't Emma remember him?
4) One of the Brothers Grimm - Maybe. He is a writer.
No--there's only 1 theory that makes any sense in my mind : Pinocchio!
Photo from IMDB here. This is a photo of Pinocchio working with his father, Gepetto, in their workshop. Remember Gepetto made the enchanted wardrobe that spirited Emma away, and protected her from Evil Queen's The Dark Curse. I believe Pinocchio fell asleep (or Gepetto hid him inside--a father's love, you know!) in the wardrobe and went along with Emma to safety. The Blue Faery said there was only room for 1 person, but there would have been enough room for 2 kids. So Emma had some company on that journey!
Evidence :
A) The coloring is about right : blue eyes and brown hair, lighter as a kid.
B) He's good with his hands, learned a lot in the workshop with Gepetto. In a later episode, we see August fixing / amending Henry's storybook -- in a workshop somewhere in Storybrooke. He hasn't forgotten what he learned from his father!
C) There are numerous instances where Mr. Booth says things like, "I cannot tell a lie," and then he tells some whopper about lemurs in Nepal (what?). Yeah--maybe he has traveled the world, but there are no lemurs in Nepal!
D) He seems to be able to come and go, like Emma, whereas all other residents of Storybrooke are trapped there. Their cars veer off the road anytime they get near the city limits.
Other Observations : He spends a lot of time around the town well, and knows the powers of the healing waters to bring back anything lost (like memories?). He is invested in the stories in Storybrooke, but is it for the common good? Or is he just a pathological liar?
Anyway, he'll be a good one for Emma who has a talent for being able to tell when someone is lying. She will keep him in line!
See those Pinocchio Blue eyes! It's got to be him!
Update March 25, 2012
In this scene from the Heart of Darkness episode, AWB sits in Grannie's diner with Henry. AWB tells Henry that the stories in his book really happened. They are "as real as I am," he says. I also see a little eye roll, there, that totally reminds me of the puppet! Pinocchio was a wooden puppet who wanted to be real. This is another way that his character "leaks out" in Storybrooke. Only time will tell if I'm right about this!
Update April 25, 2012
As of The Return episode aired this week, we now know that August is NOT Rumple's long-lost son, Baelfire. They didn't explicitly come out and say he was Pinocchio. However, the donkey paperweight in August's room is a pretty good indicator that he very likely IS Pinocchio :
Here you see Mr Gold snooping around August's room looking for clues to August's true identity. Photo from here.
Here's the Pinocchio-Donkey Transformation scene from Disney's Pinocchio movie:
I guess he keeps that little trinket around to remind him NOT to be a jackass. We all learn our lessons in life!
Update as of April 29, 2012
All this is verified in The Stranger episode. Yes! He's Pinocchio!
Kitsis and Horowitz have said that they named August W. Booth after the guy who coined the phrase "the unreliable narrator." Pinocchio is a storyteller.
Well done, Once Upon a Time! I have enjoyed the mystery these many months. ;-)
I love-love-love this series! I love the characters, and I love the lessons in the stories -- Even when they go wrong, we learn the lessons of what NOT to do. So far, this particular episode has been the best of the season. Watch the full episode here. Be warned-- it's not a happy ending--at least not yet!
I would really like to write a character analysis of Mr Gold / Rumplestiltskin, my favorite character on the show, but things are still coming to light. It's too early for that kind of assessment. That's another joy of the series--clues come up each week, to help you put the puzzle pieces together. He's a complicated character, dark and light together. A little lost, but redeemable. Belle was a huge gift in his life, and he let her slip away. Belle says "Love has many layers"--and this story certainly does! She's not perfect, but she's perfect for Rumple. Sigh! It's been a long time since I wanted two romantic characters to be together like this!
Many fans have put together little videos set to popular music that tell the tragic story of Belle and Rumple. Here are some of my favorites (set down here so I can keep track of them) :
CL tuned in a Polka show the other day. It must have been am radio. It reminded me of being a kid at Gramma and Grappa's house, learning to polka in their kitchen. I'm sure this is the same show Grappa used to listen to all those years ago. No pictures from those days, but we do have pictures from the Wedding celebrations.
Grappa's Radio
Grappa had a huge old-time radio next to his chair in the kitchen. The kind that had tubes that needed to warm up. He always stayed seated in his chair, but smiled approvingly as Gramma Pickles taught me to dance. Here we're dancing at the Wedding celebration in Pennsylvania. Yes, Gramma made the trip to Pennsylvania!
As I recall, Gramma also taught me to Jitterbug in their kitchen. Gramma used to do a lot of dancing back in the day. And Grappa, who had a truckfor his milk route, gave her rides to town. And the rest is history!
Polkas are happy music. There has never been a sad polka written or played. It just doesn't exist. Some of the polkas are sung in English, some in the languages of the "Old Country:" Bohemian, Polish, German. Grappa could understand some of them, and he'd translate some of the words--always with a smile because the lyrics were usually about courting some young woman.
This picture is from the Wedding celebration in Antigo in June of 1999. Gramma is dancing with Chriatian, and I am dancing with Grappa. Mr. Bare's Dixieland Jazz Band is providing the dance music.
We're planning our biennial trip to France again this year. My husband has family in France and so we go regularly to keep in touch. For us, it is not the trip of a lifetime to France; Just a long way to go to see family and friends. ;-)
Jean Paul and Michelle Debax live in Toulouse, France, in a huge old rambling 400-year old house. I felt at home there as soon as we set foot inside almost 10 years ago. Something in their house is always in a state of remodel or repair--just like the house I grew up in. ;-) Upstairs they had huge rooms filled with books. In their working lives, both Jean-Paul and Michelle were University professors, so they valued their respective studies and built their own professional libraries to support their studies. That makes my Librarian's Heart smile! ;-) Michelle taught Spanish, and Jean Paul taught English classics. He speaks English not like a Frenchman, but like an Englishman. I love talking with them--mostly because I can understand him!
One year, Michelle and Jean Paul hosted a dinner party in their newly remodeled dining room. It had formerly been a garage--and they kept the bird nest in the ceiling corner to prove it! I loved it! It felt like the farm where I grew up in the country of Northern Wisconsin. With an additional elegance.
In the picture above, you can see the nest on the cabinet above dear Francine's head.
The Debax are down-home and unpretentious people. Just a regular kitchen--no granite counter tops, or even a dishwasher--yet wonderful meals come from these simple kitchens.
The last time we visited, we arrived in time for tea in their rustic kitchen--filled with later afternoon sunlight. It's one of my fondest memories of our trips to France. Christian was thinking clearly enough to take some of these pictures. I love this one of Jean Paul : Portrait of a Gentleman!
Jean-Paul has had some health issues in recent years. We know the crew is getting older, dealing with health problems. Christian's mother died a few years ago. Some day, we won't always be able to visit with these dear friends. I just want them to know how much I enjoy their company and hospitality.
Last time we visited, they took us on the usual walk through downtown Toulouse. Michelle and Francine went into a little shop and bought something -- I remember Jean-Paul was just so tickled and pleased with these "2 figures embracing." I guess he thought it was just like me and Christian--a well-matched couple. It was a yin-yang salt-and-pepper shaker set in black and white. Simple. But the look of sheer delight on Jean-Paul's face when he gave it to us was PRICELESS! So yes, the two figures are fondly displayed in our China cabinet where we eat every day.
A few year's ago, the Hospital where I work celebrated Nurse's Week with Hand Portraits. Many people didn't want their pictures taken, but they were perfectly ok with having their hands photographed. Hands do the work; Hands do the caring. It was a very moving display of so many nurse's hands.
A few years ago, I saw a beautiful photography display at Evergreen, a retirement community here in Oshkosh. They had beautiful black and white hand portraits of some of their residents. Often with a moving quote. I loved this display, and wanted to capture some of the hands in my family that I want to remember ... So at Christmas this year, I took a few pictures.
Gramma Pickles - Violet Smitmajer
I love her red fingernail polish, and the sparkles! Her ring-finger is missing a knuckle from when the cow kicked the shovel she was holding in the barn ...
Frank Matucheski - being goofy
Rosita Matucheski's Hands
Ray Matucheski's Hand
These are my hands, full of cranberries!
“Let a joy keep you. Reach out your hands and take it when it runs by.”
-- Carl Sandburg
My own hands again, with currants from the back yard.
Here's another one prompted by Story Corps' National Day of Listening : Debi Thomas skating to George Michael's "One More Try" way back in 1988 at the Calgary Winter Olympics. This was her Thank You to coaches and teachers in the exhibitions after she won a Bronze medal. The expectation back then was that she would win Gold. So this was kind of an apology and a disappointment. Looking back, it was phenomenal, marvelous and heartfelt. Hindsight is 20/20, right?
"The greatest good you can do for another is not just to share your riches, but to reveal to him his own." -- Benjamin Disraeli
There are several teachers I want to give my heartfelt Thanks to : Mr. Harry Cramer, David Olson (DO), Anne Lundin, Doug Johnson. You, too, Dottie. You all made a difference in my life, and I'm glad you were part of it. Thank you!
Mr. Harry Cramer, my old Latin teacher in Antigo High School. He looked ancient even then in the 1980s, but he always had a smile through the wrinkles. What a great sense of humor he had. You had to have a sense of humor to wear the horrendous ties he wore everyday to school--they were a talking point. He made learning Latin painless with the help of cartoons and where the characters "clamat OW!' and "amat mel." 25 years later, I can even still tell you what that means. (Victor yelled ow! after hitting his thumb with a hammer (or some such). Anna loves honey.) He and his wife, Mrs. Cramer offered me my first regular job as a clerk in the local book store Mrs. Cramer managed : Book World in Antigo, WI. I tended to go there anyway because I was interested in books and song lyrics ... I guess they were looking for a kid who would be interested in the nature of the work. I was.
Mr and Mrs. Cramer organized trips to Greece and Italy regularly for the Latin Clubs. My mom and I got to go on the trip in 1988. What an experience that was for both of us. My mom had never been in a plane or left the county before that time (me either, for that matter).
Mr. Cramer also introduced me to the Holiday Folk Fair in Milwaukee that I love so much. Back in the day, the Language clubs used to take a 5-hour bus trip down to Milwaukee the weekend before Thanksgiving for the Folk Fair -- 3 days of ethnic foods, folk dancing, and crafts from all over the world. It was love at first site for me! With a name like Matucheski, I could never deny that I was Polish, and the Poles were the butt of many Polish jokes in that neck of the woods. Well, the Polish stand at the Folk Fair Bazaar had the most beautiful wooden boxes and painted eggs as Christmas Tree ornaments for sale, crafted in Poland. Here was concrete proof that the Poles made a contribution to the world, and made beautiful things. The Folk Fair is still a fall tradition for my little family. I was saddened to hear that the Language Clubs no longer make the annual trek from Antigo. The Folk Fair was one of many gifts Mr. Cramer gave me.
Mr. C. developed Parkinson's Disease in his later years. Last year when I was home for Christmas, the phone rang. It was Mr. Cramer, who had accidentally and serendipitously dialed the wrong number--ours. It was good to catch up with both him and Mrs. Cramer that day. I'm thinking of you, Mr. C!
In 1993, I spent the summer in Nigeria, West Africa, with a group of college students on a Fullbright Intensive Group Study Project to study the Yoruba language and culture. We were based in Ile-Ife, the cradle of humanity. ;-)
All over the neighborhood where we lived, people had cottage industries selling soap, or bread, or soda pop, or mop strings, or pottery, or any other number of things ...
With a dozen students, we ate a lot of bread that summer. I started collecting labels from loaves of bread. I was intrigued by the names and creativity of each label. It was all home-made white bread--every one of them tastey.
Ok--The Ezekiel Bread is from the Madison, WI, area, but it was so much the same spirit that I kept it with the bread labels.
A few years ago, I was looking for these and couldn't find them anywhere. LOST. This week, a small box toppled down and there they were : FOUND!
These will now be properly scrap-booked with my pictures and writings from that summer.
