Just for Fun ... Best Bela Lugosi Impression

Just for fun ...

One evening, the sunlight and shadows were dancing on Christian's head.  I said it looked like he had a Vampire's widow's peak.  So immediately, he started doing his best Bela Lugosi impression from Ed Wood.   I thought it would be fun to gif the moment.  So here it is ...

Enjoy!

Brave : Part 2

Someone kindly commented on my beautiful smile in my Beyond Layers Self Portrait a few weeks ago.  If only they had known what that smile cost me!

When I was 18 years old, I had major reconstructive jaw surgery to correct an open bite (as opposed to an over/under bite) and painful TMJ problems.  The day before surgery, we went to a party for a cousin getting married.  I was a basket case, thinking about the surgery the next day.  I was in tears -- afraid of the unknown.  Although I trusted Dr. Hintz, the surgeon, it was to be an 8-hour operation with 5 days in hospital and 2 months wired shut, unable to eat solid food or speak. Would the surgery even work?  Hospital patients have to essentially hand over their bodies to the surgical team and nurses.  That was kind of scary, too.   Surgery was the last option.  All other more conservative treatments had failed.   I survived ... and eventually became a medical librarian due in part to my early experience with this side of the medicine. 

I remember waking up after surgery and hearing someone in the next room having a terrible time, coughing and sputtering.   I could hear the suctioning they had to do for him.  A kid from my home town (the hospital was an hour away) had survived an awful trauma where his jaw was blown off in an explosion.  I sort of knew the kid. He was a year younger than me.  I realized I had been fortunate enough to have been prepared for the surgery, and 2 months recovery. I knew what to expect going into it.  This kid had no idea.  His life was changed in an instant.  That put things into perspective for me.  I really didn't have it so bad after all.   I think things did turn out ok for him eventually, after multiple surgeries--at least, I hope it did.

I'm glad I faced my fears, and moved through them.  Although the surgery fixed the physical and mechanical problem of my ill-fitting jaws, it took another 8 years to overcome the psychological damage years of wearing awkward mouth pieces, and learning to talk around them.  I felt like a freak of nature then, and that feeling didn't go away immediately.  Now I can look back at pics from those days and I can see I don't look so different from anyone else.  But I sure felt like a freak.  I remember thinking, "If I can just get through this, just get past the surgery, I can get on with my life and forget that troubled past.  It was also the summer between high school and college.  Now I can say I'm glad of the experience.  It put my life on hold for a time, but it built a lot of character.  That experience remains an important part of who I am.  And I am grateful. ;-)

So the photo ...  I think Kim Klassen had a photo of a bowl of blueberries a while back.  Blueberries are one of my all-time favorite foods.  So I thought I could set up my own Blueberry still life.   I also liked Kim's Little Things brush / stamp for this one.  While I was wired shut those 2 months after my jaw surgery, I couldn't eat any solid food, only what liquids could seep through the cracks between my teeth--not everything blends up fine enough to do that.  Indeed, some things (like dumplings) plugged up those cracks, and then I had a hard time breathing.  Eeesh!  Something so simple as eating was not something I could participate in during that time.  Do you know how many food commercials are on tv? Do you have any idea? A LOT!  I was aware of every one when I could not partake. 

[The content of this post originally appeared on my arts-and-crafts blog, Sweet Leaf Notebook on August 2, 2012.]   

Brave : Part 1

The bravest dog I know ...  This is Maggie.  She came to us when she was about 5 years old.  (She's 11 now.)  The woman who runs the local Human Society knew I was looking for a big black dog after my old one died.  Two months later, she called with Maggie's hard-luck case.  This dog was in such bad shape, they didn't feel she could stay at the Shelter.  She was so depressed, she just wanted to melt away into the ground. And she was terrified of EVERYTHING.  Could we foster her, train her and get her ready for adoption?  I went to meet her, armed with turkey hot dogs cut into pieces as treats.   She was so depressed and inhibited, she wouldn't even let herself enjoy them, wouldn't even go for them, much less a pig ear.  Can you believe that?  What dog doesn't love pig ears?   After all that, she passed the aggression test with flying colors : Not one ounce of aggression in her.  That's why I decided to take her on. If she had been at all nasty, I would not have endangered my family--we'd seen that before too, and it's just not worth it.

When we got her to our house, we had to house-train her, among other things.  An 85-pound dog (She was underweight) who wasn't house broken?  Fortunately, she picked that up in a few days.  Thankfully!  The Shelter people and the Vet suspected she had been in a back yard puppy mill, where her only purpose was to churn out puppies.  Newfoundland puppies can sell for $1,400 a pup, so she was someone's cash cow.   And they probably didn't feed her much when she was young so that she wouldn't grow as big as Newfies tend to get.  When we got her, she was getting over another litter of pups.  It was obvious she was never socialized.  It still upsets me that those people never bothered to get to know her--She's the sweetest dog ever!

She was still afraid of everything.  It was weeks before she would come out of her box to spend time with the family, and then just for very short times before she was overwhelmed and retreated to her box.  It was 6 months before we could go for a walk down the street.  She was afraid of open spaces, so the park was out of the question for many months.  Sidewalks were scarey.  Cars terrified her ...  Even in our back yard, her favorite spot was the porch--I guess it was kind of like a dog house, or a crate.  We finally had to block that off to force her into the rest of the back yard.   We have another dog who could be considered normal : Purdy helped Maggie learn to be normal.  Maggie is a dog's dog, and she was very interested in Purdy's every move.  One day, after about 2 months, my husband caught them playing in the backyard.  This was a break through for Maggie to let loose like that.  He videotaped it and sent it to me at work.  I couldn't believe it!  She was making progress!  Of course I fell in love with her, and we decided to keep her. 

Another summer day, we had corn on the cob for supper.  We must have taken a break before clearing the table.  Maggie came out of her box when she thought no one was looking, approached the dining room table and helped herself to a "spent" corn cob.  I was thrilled!  This was an act of bravery and boldness like we'd never seen from her.  Normally, we don't feed our dogs at the table, so this was unusual for us, too.  She was finally coming out of her shell!

She's still shy, doesn't like to be photographed any more than my Beyond Layers classmates ;-)  These days, she has a light in her eye, and a spring in her step--until we bring out the camera.  Still--she's the bravest dog I know.  The Humane Society staff can't believe she's she same dog when we walk down the street.  It's a complete turnaround.  Maggie is one of the JOYS in my life.  Her fur is so soft, it's a luxury for me to come home from a stressful day at work and be able to scratch her chest, or rub her ears.  Now she leans in for the attention.  She's good for me, too!  I'm so glad she decided to stay with us.  She's got a good life now.  ;-)

Here's another version of the photo ... a little lighter with RadLab filters.

Here's the original photo of Maggie straight out of my camera.  As you might imagine, she's a difficult dog to photograph because she's so black.  This image sitting on the snow on a sunny day worked out quite well. You can see some red highlights in her fur.

[The content of this post originally appeared on my arts-and-crafts blog, Sweet Leaf Notebook on July 31, 2012.]   

Making Time

 

On our recent Trip-of-a-Lifetime to Alaska, I captured this image of Columbine growing next to a house in Haines.  (Nice little town.  If you go, be sure to stop in at Sarah J's for lunch.  I had the BEST EVER Chipotle BLT on a Croissant.  She really has a knack for putting flavors together! Delicious!)

This week, Kim encouraged us to take some time for ourselves, and turn it into a visual record of the moment.    Sunday mornings, I have a few hours to myself where I can create, sew, make stuff, or do whatever I want.  No chores. No expectations.  No boys clamoring for my attention.  This was a tough lesson for me that I learned after I had my son. He was a demanding little critter--There were days my husband would leave some toast in the toaster for me, and I couldn't even get up to fetch it because the kid was always nursing or sleeping or otherwise needing my full attention.   He would cry if we put him down.  And he didn't nap by himself for more than 30 minutes at a time.  Ugh!  I was so busy taking care of this new baby that I couldn't take care of myself.   Those were tough days for me, and I couldn't wait to get back to work where I could actually be productive.   Nope--I'm not the nurturing one at our house ; My husband is.  I nearly had a nervous breakdown back then.

Around that time, my sister asked me to make her wedding dress.   I had to hatch a plan to get that job done.  My time at work belonged to my employer; My time at home was all baby and husband.  Or sleeping.  My sweet husband helped me carve out some time where he took the kid and left me be.  In his words, "If Mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy."   He could see that I needed some time for me, and he made it possible.  (Yes, I got a good one!)  For 10 years now, I have kept that sacred creative time on Sundays.  I usually don't leave the house on Sunday.  I do chores and errands on Saturday, or during the week.   I listen to a couple of radio shows (This American Life, and To the Best of Our Knowledge, Once Upon a Time podcasts) so that the intellectual side of my brain gets some stimulation while I'm working my hands and visual brain.   These days, those morning hours have stretched to cover most of the day on Sunday.   I am so blessed!

People wonder how I can be so productive with all the things I do and make.  This is my big secret : Take the time to do it.  Make that time sacred.  It is important to replenish the well of creativity, and for me that means making / taking the time to create.  Truthfully, my mental health was at stake when I started this ritual.  I'm grateful that I had the support and infrastructure to make it work.   Thank you, CL!

[The content of this post originally appeared on my arts-and-crafts blog, Sweet Leaf Notebook on July 25, 2012.]   

Self Portraits

 

I know a lot of people seem to really be struggling with this lesson, but I had a fun time with it.   Many people are uncomfortable being in FRONT of the camera lens.  Too self-critical?  Low self esteem?   Yeah, I've been there, too.   Whatever it was,  I must have moved through it already ...

When I was pregnant 11 years ago, I was NOT one of those beautiful mothers who glowed.  The hormones of pregnancy wrecked great havoc with my skin.  My husband finally bought a roll of black-and-white film (remember film?) to capture those moments, and tone down the redness in my skin at the time.  That helped a lot. I felt jolly and content, but my skin was erupting and protesting.

My husband takes more of the people pics at our house.  I've been to enough funerals to know the ritual of combing through the family pics to choose images that will be in the photo montage at the funeral.  I won't always be here--I know that.  But to deny my loved ones taking a photo of me?  It's for them, not me. Will they wish we had more pics of me after I'm gone?   I wonder if Beyonders thought of it that way, they'd be more willing to allow themselves to be photographed?  Our loved ones see beauty in us that we're blind to ...  So Beyonders, when I added Kim's "You are already amazing" affirmation, I'm talking to all of YOU on this journey with me.  Do the assignment. You'll be glad you did, even if you are hiding behind something.  This is your chance to come out and shine!

I took a lot of pictures for this lesson--and deleted most of them.  Don't you love digital photography!  It was good practice figuring out the pose and spacing, lighting, etc. That in-and-of itself was a useful exercise.  In the end, I decided to go with this picture, cropped from a larger photo a few years ago.   I actually used this image in 2010 to do a 4-color fabric portrait in fabric.  So I guess you could say I was already familiar with it.   I remember it felt weird to be working on a picture of myself, but I'm over it now.  ;-)

The beauty of PhotoShop Elements is that if you don't like what you see, you can alter it.  I played around with some of the free Actions out there for PSE and came up with the different versions in the collage above.   Some of them hide my gray hair, some of them smooth out my skin nicely ...  All different, but pleasing effects.

Top Left : Pioneer Woman's Black Beauty Action
Top Right : Coffee Shop's Raspberry Tea Action
                   The image at the head of this post also adds Kim Klassen's "Amazing" brush/stamp
Bottom Left :  Coffee Shop's Irish Breakfast Tea
Bottom Right : Coffee Shop's Green Tea Action
No extra textures on these.  the b/w effect was enough, I think.

Here's the original photo the self portrait came from.
We were doing some flower pounding that day.

[The content of this post originally appeared on my arts-and-crafts blog, Sweet Leaf Notebook on July 18, 2012.]   

Ten Truths about Me

Kim Klassen's Beyond Layers class is 52 weeks of Inspiration.  This week's assignment is to share 10 truths about myself.  I don't usually do that here on Sweet Leaf Notebook, but here it goes ...

1)  I love big, black furry dogs of the Newfie variety.  Meet Maggie, my 2nd-Chance Newf.  She is the sweetest dog you'd ever want to meet.
2) I lived in a housing coop in Madison, WI, for 7 years. I can hardly believe I stayed so long!
3) I met my sweet and wonderful husband at that Coop.   We left together.  ;-)  I guess I had to stay there long enough for him to move in!
4) I'm not much of a housekeeper.  I'd much rather spend my time making stuff, than cleaning up.
5) I am an INFJ which means I recharge my batteries at home, being quiet--making stuff and being creative.  Or just reading. Or blogging. Or working on PhotoShop pics.  Or Sewing. Or Dyeing ...
6) I love a good cuppa tea, and sitting by the fire in Winter.
7) I am trained as a Hospice Volunteer.  This is one of the most important jobs I do.

 

The road to Faery Glen, Isle of Skye.

8) My favorite country is Scotland.  Love the green!  Love the accents!  Love Robert Carlyle!  Give me those ever-changing, moody skies any day over a burning, hot sun.   This feels like home!
9) I won a bronze medal for figure skating in the Badger State Games in 1996.   For many years, skating was my absolute JOY!  I didn't get to take lessons until I went to college, so no--I wasn't one of those 6-year olds dreaming of winning the Olympics.  I skated because I loved the way it felt--smoooth and fluid.  I felt Beautiful on the ice.
10) I do NOT have a cell phone, and I get along just fine without one.   :-)

About the top image :
I used one of the Ginger Pixel Storyboard templates.
Picked 4 family pictures.
Used Kim Klassen's "Dear Dreamer" Texture as the background.
Added a layer for text, using Caflisch Script Pro font.

[The content of this post originally appeared on my arts-and-crafts blog, Sweet Leaf Notebook on June 7, 2012.] 

Crossing Over

Dear Reader,

My apologies for not posting much here in recently months.  I've been taking an online photography class called Beyond Layers with Kim Klassen.  When it started in April, I thought I would effectively learn to use PhotoShop Elements and that I would wind up with a year's worth of beautiful images (my own!).  What I did not expect was that the teacher would ask us to go deeper ...  I'm beginning to understand that the STORY behind the image adds powerful emotional content.  The Meaning is part of what matters.  It is essentially another Layer.

Some of Kim's assignments have asked us to reflect on the kind of personal things that I'd be much more likely to post here on Hidden Passages (HP), rather than my artsy Sweet Leaf Notebook (SLN) blog which documents my creative pursuits.  HP is sort of the family stories and personal musings, with a much smaller audience.  SLN is much more eye candy, designed to document the things I make (art quilts, hand dyed fabric, surface design, and lately, photography).  There has not usually been an emotional life on Sweet Leaf Notebook--until this summer.  Nor have I posted much of my Artsy-craftsy life on HP.  Many of the recent posts on SLN are things I felt would work better on HP because of the personal nature of the the story layer.   In fact, when the class began, I wondered if I shouldn't post Beyond Layers assignments to Hidden Passages instead of Sweet Leaf Notebook.

However, thanks to Tim Berners-Lee and Google, I can post them in both places!  Aside from my mom and my dear husband, I don't think many people out there read both.  Hence, I will be re-posting those stories that seem to fit Hidden Passages. 

Here we go ...