Hey--That's My Mom! -- or the Power of Touch

About a year ago, my mom nearly died from rare complications of Shingles (Yeah--I know--scary stuff!). She is the Public Health Officer for her county. She wrote about her battle with Shingles in this article that recently re-ran in The Antigo Daily Journal. 

 

In January 2009, my mom spent a week in Wausau Hospital dealing with it. I remember calling her one morning in the hospital before I went to work in my own hospital. I live about 2-1/2 hours away from her. Before they figured out what was going on, she was having episodes in between a stroke and a seizure. While I was talking with her, she kind of faded out and said, "I have to go ... I'm having another one ..." Meanwhile, I'm 100 miles away thinking, "Oh, my god! This could be the last time I talk with my mom--where she actually recognizes me!" At first I didn't know what to do. Then I called back, got the nurses' station, and asked that someone get into the room with her, that she was having one of her "fits." Whoever answered the phone must have been used to family members calling in distress. She said the nurse was with her ... I think she might have even walked into the room with the phone, as I could hear someone comforting my mom. When it passed, the nurse--who was calm as a soft southern rain--came on and explained to me what had happened, that they were watching these episodes, timing them, etc. to try and figure out what was going on. She did as much to comfort me as my mom.

What really hit me was that this nurse was right there holding my mom's hand while she was having this episode. I know how busy these health care professionals are, and how immersed they have to be in technology. I can't tell you how much it meant to me that someone as busy as a nurse in a busy hospital took the time to hold my mom's hand when I couldn't be there to do it myself. 

 

My mom herself is a public health nurse. I am a hospital librarian. People go into nursing and healthcare because we care about people. Most of us are service-oriented, caring people. But the nature of the business has changed such that it's easy to let technology take over. In some respects, that's good. Her doctors told her that if she had had this bout of shingles with these particular rare complications in the 1980s, she would have died. They just did not have the anti-viral medications to deal with it back then. As it was, they sent her home with a central line catheter, and a machine that administered her medications for 3 more weeks. My Dad got quite adept at setting up the machine for her.

 

Holding someone's hand seems like such a small thing--but it's huge!

 

Here's another tear jerker story for you :

I recently came across a story where a child was hit by a car. Sadly, she died before her parents could get there. A Police Officer on the scene took the time to sit and hold her as she died. That was a great comfort to the parents who could not be there themselves. As hard as it was to lose their child, they knew she had not died alone.

 

Learn more about Shingles and how to prevent it. I'm providing this link because I know there's a lot of MIS-information out there (I've seen and heard it up-close and personal) . My mom is on a public health crusade to get kids vaccinated with the chicken pox vaccine--that's the only sure way to avoid Shingles later in life. This is pain you can avoid. Finally, talk to a health care professional if you have concerns about Chicken Pox, the vaccines, or Shingles.

Storytelling with Debra Morningstar

For the FVUUF Fellowship Dinner in Oshkosh this month, Debra Morningstar told Native American Stories. I was so looking forward to this program! I even skipped out of Quilt Guild and fat-quarter bingo to see her program this month.


Debra Morningstar asked Oliver to pull this blue snake out of her bag so he (the snake) could help her tell a story. Debra didn't know it then, but snakes are very important to Oliver. He was born in The Year of the Snake. This simple act had more meaning for him than she knew at the time. I made sure to tell her after the program.


Every time she said "snake" in the story, Oliver was supposed to shake the rattle. When she said "snake," we listeners were supposed to hissss like a snake. Sorry for the blurry pictures--these are all action shots with no flash, as I didn't want to distract her.


Here, the kids are listening, and Debra is telling the story, singing, and beating her drum for emphasis.

The 2nd part of the program was for adults. A big part of Debra's mission and purpose as a storyteller is to dispell the many stereotypes about Native Americans. She told a moving (and true) story about her Gramma Cassie being ripped from her home as a child, name, language, even her braids were taken from her. Her fingers were broken for the crime of speaking her language. For years, she was "re-trained in Western ways." When she was able to go back to her people, she couldn't speak with them--she'd forgotten her language. So when people tell her, So I hear you Native Americans got a problem with alcohol," she tells them this story.


Towards the end of her program, Deb invited 2 friends from the UU to play a few songs with her. Deb played Native American flute; Marie on guitar and Nancy on drum. They met at the craft sale in early December. They all had booths in the same area of the lobby. They got to talking and realized they were all musicians, too. During lulls in the day, they would come around and serenade the rest of us vending that day. It was so nice! That was the first time they played together--and I was there!

That craft sale in December was also the first time I met Debra Morningstar--and I now I keep running into her at the UU. She treats me like a sister, always with a warm greeting and a hug. I told her then how much I was looking forward to her storytelling program in Oshkosh. She reminds me of Sandy ... very warm, yet she speaks her truth. No one is going to use her for a door matt. She is strong. She has overcome a lot in her life, and she chooses to focus on the positives. I am looking forward to this friendship blooming.

2 Black Dogs in the Snow

Maggie in the winter sun.


Purty in the same winter sun. Purty's favorite place is next to the fire, or the hot air vents in the house.


A chickadee found it's way onto our porch this afternoon. I got a picture before it flew off ...

Christmas 2009

Santa left Oliver this note on Christmas morning. Oliver left out some oatmeal for the reindeer, and a carrot for Santa. Oliver wanted to give him a break from all the cookies and candy he might get at other houses, but Santa gave the carrot to the Reindeer. Simple mistake. He had plenty of work to do that night!


The sun through the storm on Christmas Day 2009.


After the storm, everything was bright and clear--and snowy!


Snow-covered sumac heads at Garzke Flowage on our annual Christmas cross-country ski trek. The woods looked just like a set from Dr. Zhivago, a literal Winter Wonderland!


And here's a picture of my dad with his brand new thermos on Christmas morning ... with a nod to Steve Martin :

Laughing Luka

My sister, the scrapbooker, asked all of us for our first impressions upon meeting her new baby. He laughs a lot! I've never seen a baby laugh so much! She has even dubbed him Mr. Happy.

Square Pegs and Round Holes : Living with Asperger Syndrome

1972 : My brother, me, and Aunt Cindy (with dog)

When I was pregnant, I bargained with the Universe. You don't know quite what you're going to get until the baby is born and develops ... I said, "I can handle a kid with Down Syndrome. I can handle a kid who's deaf. I can handle a kid with special needs. However, I'd have a really hard time having a kid with Autism." A few years ago, we found out my brother has Asperger's Syndrome. The great irony is that I'd been living with "high-functioning' autism my whole life without even realizing it!

Last year, The Wisconsin Hospital Association was collecting personal stories which provided reasons why people in health care occupations chose their careers, in hopes of inspiring others to join the field. This is the question I addressed :

Has anything happened in your career that reaffirmed your decision to work in health care?

When I was in Library School, I worked part-time in a hospital library. I liked helping people connect with the information they needed to make informed healthcare decisions. I help physicians, nurses, patients, and their families. At some point in our lives, we all need quality health information. This can significantly impact people's lives for the better. Some days, I get to do research and offer the best available evidence for a procedure or treatment, or to help change policies to improve patient care or patient safety. Some days, I help people research a new diagnosis. They find out that others have been through it, and they find a path to get themselves through it, too. That can make a tremendous difference in terms of relieving anxiety.

Consumer health librarians help patients understand their conditions and treatments, help them find communities of support, and help them locate resources for equipment, services, and financial assistance. For one example among many, I helped a patient with a new diagnosis of diabetes find a book written in plain language that told him how to get through the holidays and family gatherings on his new diet! Another patient lost his leg. His prosthesis caused him great discomfort. I was able to get him connected with The Amputee Coalition of America which offered not only support, but also options for a better fitting, more comfortable prosthesis.

I was recently reminded of how my help as a Librarian can profoundly affect people for the better in a very personal way. Last summer, my own family needed some research. At the age of 35, my brother was diagnosed with Asperger’s Syndrome. For years my family wondered why my otherwise smart brother wasn’t able to function in the world. He couldn’t hold a job, made poor decisions, didn’t have many friends, just didn't seem to fit in anywhere … Over the years as a hospital librarian, I had collected several books, handouts, and websites on Asperger’s. With this information, the pieces of the puzzle came together. Now, we know that his brain is literally wired differently. We have a whole new understanding of what to expect, what situations to beware of, how we can support him, what he needs to work on, and what he might still be able to accomplish with his life. We know what we’re dealing with now, and we’re ALL learning to cope with this form of high-functioning autism. My brother is currently earning a college degree in Physics. He’s found a community where he fits. Thus the road to recovery started at a health science library.

Me and Gramma Pickles

I love this picture of me and Gramma Pickles. This is one I don't want to forget. You can really see the sparkles on her glasses and her red lipstick. She looks good--even at Grappa's funeral this past summer.

Snow Day!

View out the front door this am. Picture 2 blue-black crows crows flying up through the middle of this scene ... This also doesn't show the red crab apples peeking through the snow-laden branches. I feel an art quilt coming on!


From the back yard. The Arbor vitae and the Joe Pye Weed are so weighted down with snow that they are bent over the pond.




Snow dingle-berries caked on Maggie's legs. Poor thing. She is not a dog who would have done well in the wild. She loves the snow anyway. She sure makes me happy! ;-)


These are Oliver's new boots. They fit me. I wore them quite comfortably on the dog walk last night. I'll have a new pair of boots when he outgrows this pair. He's only 8 years old!

Oliver gets the day off of school, and I'm also staying home from work due to the snow. Hurray!

Goddess Mother to Little Luka

I'm a Goddess Mother!

On her recent trip to the US in November (She lives in Japan), my sister asked us to be god-parents to her new baby, Luka. At first we were wondering, well, what does that mean? What does she expect of us? We're not hugely religious people. I seldom see my own god-parents. In the end, we concluded that our job is to make this little boy feel special, to be a good influence on him. We can do that.


Here we are at the UU Fellowship in Appleton, with my friend, The Rev. Dottie Mathews who did the dedication/naming ceremony for us. Pictured Back row : me, Christian, Mande (holding Ailin). Front Row : Oliver, Yusuke (holding Luka).


Oliver is also happy about this new role. He was really looking forward to meeting his new little cousin. Look at his eyes sparkle (or is that sparkle from Gramma Pickles in the back row?)

I discovered I like being Auntie better than mother to a little one this age. Luka is a jolly little easy-going boy. Easy to make him giggle and belly-laugh.

CL is the nurturing one--as you can tell from this photo :

December for the Senses

A warm fire to sit by. CL finally started a fire! Hurray! This turned out to be a great fire picture, too.

More December Reds.

CL made a batch of what we affectionately call "Cranberry Sludge." We make our own cranberry juice out of fresh whole cranberries. It's delicious! It's thicker than juice after we strain it, so we call it sludge (in a good way).